"We are never going to be rich, because we are too
honest." That is what Jana says when the checkbook is low on funds, which,
to be candid, is an ongoing issue. I always disagree, not about getting rich,
but about being trustworthy. Over the years, I have heard Barry tell some
whoppers, so I think I am on firm ground. In fact, after watching him for
decades, I think his stories easily rival anything Duke ever concocted---and
Duke was the undisputed master. As for me, whoppers are not in my skill set. I
have, however, been known to creatively interpret the circumstances and
conveniently forget an important fact.
Some time ago, I realized the primary impediment to our success had nothing to do with honesty; the problem was we were outmatched, not bright enough to effectively cope with the machinations of our local artists. As an example, long ago, we harangued Lorraine Black to make us a really creative weaving. I had even gone so far as to get out the photograph album, point to certain baskets she had previously woven, and say, "See, like this, really inventive, really spectacular and really well done." I left out the really expensive part. There were times when she had brought in baskets so beautiful, they made us cry. That is what I was after, and she was not scratching the itch.
Then, when I had almost given up, she walked in with exactly what I wanted; a basket so stunning, I felt my heart skip a beat. As she put the weaving on the counter and told me her price, my heart stopped altogether. "What!" I exclaimed, thumping my chest to restart the old ticker before darkness overtook me.
"Look," she said, pointing to certain design elements. "This is Jana and the kids in your truck. Can you see there are three children, and they each have red hair. And there you are, standing outside the truck, where you always are, because all you do is work and your family goes everywhere without you." Leaving aside the fact that only two of my kids have red hair, I was impressed with the accuracy of her commentary and the likeness of the truck, wife, and offspring.
She went on to point out she had also included a representation of Barry's
Toyota van with Barry and his family, all inside the vehicle. A good likeness I
had to admit. Lastly, she said, "And here is my truck with my kids. Can
you see? That’s why I have to ask such a large price." I had to admit she
had us over a barrel. What, I wondered, would we do if the weaving found its
way to another trading post? I could just hear one of the Foutzes saying,
"And look at this basket. It has those clowns from Twin Rocks in it.
Isn't it a gas? Can you believe they wouldn't buy it for themselves? What
goofs!" While Barry and Priscilla looked the other way pretending not to
notice, so they would not have to take responsibility for the huge purchase
price, I wrote the check.
If that had been all, I probably would have continued on in blissful ignorance as I polished the glass and swept the porch. But then Julia Deswudt came into the store. Although she was stocked with two weavings, she only showed Barry the lesser-quality rug. After stripping him of a little cash, she promptly went next door to Twin Rocks Cafe, laid the better weaving on the table, and set up a retail operation, soliciting restaurant patrons. When we heard of the assault on our clientele, we rushed over and purchased the second, better rug, all the time wondering why she had not just sold us both weavings. When the dust settled, the answer seemed obvious, Julia was just trying to improve her cash flow by applying the old business adage: "A little competition never hurt anyone."
Then, to top off the week, Elsie Holiday stopped by to chew the fat. As she explained her theory that we had all been witched and that it had taken a special ceremony to remove the curse, I was genuinely impressed. I had been wondering why business took a sudden turn for the worse. She assured me things would now be much better and summed up with, "So, can I borrow a hundred?" What was I going to do, risk losing all that good medicine?
If that had been all, I probably would have continued on in blissful ignorance as I polished the glass and swept the porch. But then Julia Deswudt came into the store. Although she was stocked with two weavings, she only showed Barry the lesser-quality rug. After stripping him of a little cash, she promptly went next door to Twin Rocks Cafe, laid the better weaving on the table, and set up a retail operation, soliciting restaurant patrons. When we heard of the assault on our clientele, we rushed over and purchased the second, better rug, all the time wondering why she had not just sold us both weavings. When the dust settled, the answer seemed obvious, Julia was just trying to improve her cash flow by applying the old business adage: "A little competition never hurt anyone."
Then, to top off the week, Elsie Holiday stopped by to chew the fat. As she explained her theory that we had all been witched and that it had taken a special ceremony to remove the curse, I was genuinely impressed. I had been wondering why business took a sudden turn for the worse. She assured me things would now be much better and summed up with, "So, can I borrow a hundred?" What was I going to do, risk losing all that good medicine?
Year after year, I have remained optimistic that we can withstand the financial
strain placed on us by all this innate creativity. If not, there's always
unemployment benefits.