Aside from, “Aren’t you afraid those rocks will fall and smash you to death?”, the comment most often heard at Twin Rocks Trading Post is “This place is in the middle of nowhere!” On one level, that squares with several well-known authors who have written about our geography. For example, Wallace Stegner in his landmark work Mormon Country described this corner of the world as “[T]he most barren frontier in the United States.” Additionally, in his book titled A History of San Juan County, Robert McPherson, our friend and neighbor to the north, quotes legendary Colorado-born ethnographer Frank Waters to paint a picture of our sanctuary on the San Juan. McPherson notes that Waters designated this area “[O]ne of the loneliest, wildest regions in America.”
Several years ago, I worked on a business deal with the luxury tour company Abercrombie & Kent, which desired to expand its operations into Moab. During one of our meetings, its senior vice president, who had traveled the globe in search of adventure, said to me, “Grand and San Juan counties are home to much of the most primitive, isolated and untamed land in the world.” So, after years of patiently attempting to address the concerns expressed by our visitors, Barry, Priscilla, and I finally developed a response which goes like this, “Yes, Bluff is in the middle of nowhere. So, that means it’s in the middle of everywhere . . . Right?” This thesis came to us after reviewing the book Earth, the Cosmos and You: Revelations by Archangel Michael, written by Orpheus Phylos, a modern-day prophet who visited Bluff after the Comet Hale-Bopp passed by earth in the late 1990s. The treatise, which Barry got from Orpheus herself while she was in Bluff waiting for the “Mother Ship” to arrive and take her group of devotees to their final reward, definitively concludes Bluff is the center of the universe. Unfortunately, Orpheus misread the signs and the transport did not arrive as expected. Due to her scheduling mishap, we are not 100% confident Orpheus' logic is mathematically, scientifically, or geographically accurate. We are, however, satisfied she has a defensible position, and Waters seems supportive of her rational. McPherson notes, “To Waters, [southeastern Utah] is physically and metaphorically the heartland of America. Squared astronomically to space and time . . . .”
Years ago when Kira and Grange were young and we lived in the apartment above the trading post, Jana, who is now an art teacher at a local high school, worked in the business with us. When people inquired whether she thought they might enjoy living in Bluff she would ask, “How do you like where you live now?” If they responded with something like, “I hate it. My neighbors are terrible, traffic is horrible, it’s a bad place,” she would say, “I don’t think you’d like it here, maybe you should consider another location.” If, however, they replied, “I love where I live, the people are kind, it’s beautiful and I have lots of friends and many things to do,” she would say, “I think you’d like it here as well.”
After much deliberation, we at Twin Rocks have concluded there are basically two types of people who visit this region: those who say, “I have been traveling hours and haven’t seen a thing,” and those who declare, “I have been driving miles and miles, and around every corner there is something new and exciting. This land is amazing, diverse, and interesting.” I think this is a glass half-full issue. Some people see the world as a journey of discovery and others view it as an ordeal.
Recently, Jana and I made one of our infrequent trips to Durango. The Colorado mountain town is the polar opposite of Bluff; populous by local standards, busy, developed, mountainous. So, being extremists, that is where we go when we have time off from our high-desert hideout. During the trip, we headed to the theater to see the Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper movie A Star is Born. Not to spoil the plot, but in the end, the Cooper character, Jackson “Jack” Maine, who appears to have all the talent, money, and success one could desire, prematurely ends his life. The film reminded me of Da Vinci’s tale and the conversations we have with our trading post guests, leading me to conclude Bluff is one of those places where nowhere is somewhere, and nothing is something worth preserving. Those of us fortunate enough to find ourselves living here feel we are among the lucky ones and realize we would not be content anywhere else. Frances, the Twin Rocks Cafe general manager, has suggested the town adopt Steven Tyler as its patron saint. The Aerosmith front man famously stated, “We’re all here because we’re not all there.” That pretty much sums up why we live in Bluff.