Spenser Simpson
The thoughts circulating through my head took me back to the first time I went running after the accident. I needed to clear the cobwebs, and thought a good workout might do the trick. Spenser's fate was still very much in doubt, and I was feeling frustrated, agitated and distressed about not being able to help him. As I doubled back for my return trip, I realized there was one thing I hadn't tried; I had never offered myself up in return for his survival. So, as the sun broke over the horizon, I began the process we all go through when one of our young ones is threatened.
I started with the usual, "Take me and spare him," but quickly realized I needed to add a few caveats. Things would be a little more difficult around the store with me gone, so I decided to also ask that Barry's vision be improved and that he be given the inspiration to continue writing the weekly trading post tales. I briefly considered requesting a posthumous Pulitzer Prize, but worried that might be asking a little too much.
After making my suggestion to the powers that be, I plodded down the highway, waiting for a lightning bolt from heaven or a runaway truck, but nothing happened and I arrived home intact. The gods must have found my overture naive, because they neglected it altogether; without so much as a counter offer. Spenser was, however, generously granted a reprieve without any sacrifice from me.
Since that time, I have dedicated my morning runs to Spenser. After seeing how well prayers worked for him, I began to think I might be able to create my own positive energy exchange; a running prayer as it were, channeling strength to Spenser through jogging. As I ran faster and longer, I imagined Spenser becoming correspondingly quicker and sturdier. I equated each step of my journey to a step along his personal path. As I became stronger, I envisioned him becoming more powerful; each stride bringing him closer to a full recovery.
This process has continued since my initial commitment, so on Sunday morning I began to move from feeling unsure about my progress to focusing energy on Spenser. As I passed the two mile marker, I began to wonder whether I could run the loop from the trading post, past the mission, to the intersection of the Aneth/Montezuma Creek road and down Cow Canyon into town; a distance of approximately eight miles. I had not covered that stretch of pavement for a long time, but Spenser was inspiring me and I thought it might be possible. The sun was shining, and the thought of sending some good vibrations his way made my spirit glow and my legs feel stronger.
When I reached the intersection of the Montezuma Creek road and Highway 163, I knew I had to make a decision. My mind was questioning whether my body would cooperate. I felt the doubts Spenser must sometimes feel during his therapy, but decided to push forward. A band of cattle held their ground on both sides of the road a short distance after I made the turn and a bull began to paw the ground in a threatening manner. Once again I thought of Spenser and let out a whooping "haw." The cows scattered, and I surged ahead, my strength and courage building. At that moment I knew we would make it all the way.
As I started down Cow Canyon, I envisioned a time in the next several months when Spenser will have overcome the majority of his obstacles, and will be on his own downhill run. The valley opened up as I descended into Bluff, and I spied the Jones farm; the end of my journey. I knew in spring the alfalfa fields will once again turn green, and Spenser will have worked through the winter of his discontent. Right now things are difficult, but soon enough the accident will be a distant memory.
Just as the miles had passed in spite of my doubts, so shall Spenser's struggles pass with time and determination. I have realized that in trying to help him, Spenser has made me stronger and more determined. That, I believe, is the power of love.
Copyright©2004 Twin Rocks Trading Post
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