Weigh Your Words

I was working the lunch rush at the cafe seating customers, schlepping tables, wiping them down, and sweeping floors. "Getting right down to the nutty-nitty-gritty," I was doing my best to "keep the back bar clean and the place looking pretty," while putting out what our restaurant manager Miss Frances calls our very own brand of "Four Corners Comfort Food." From my post at the servers’ station, I felt a presence and looked up into a pair of light blue eyes framed by black and silver horn-rimmed glasses. The elderly ladies’ purple hair was pinned up tight and encircled by a hand-crocheted headband of red yarn decorated with tiny violet flowers. The woman eyed me impatiently and quipped, "There you are." I was certain she was referring to my perceived lack of focus when it came to her wants and needs. 

"How may I help you?" I said with a smile. "A table," she said curtly, "that table for two." She was referring to the table to my left, bounded by two glass walls, still cluttered with dirty dishes and bread crumbs---the only table I had not yet bussed. I looked to the table, back at the long, lean lady dressed in grey gingham and black Mary Jane's, to the other clean tables and began to make a suggestion. "I’ll wait." she said turning away. I hustled to clean the table while maintaining the flow of the place, then seated her. "I will have hot tea, Earl Grey, if you have it with honey and lemon." When I returned with her drink she said in a clipped manner, "My brother should be arriving shortly. I should best be able to witness his arrival from this location. I will let you know when he does."

I left the woman to her tea, thinking to myself how unpleasant she seemed. Just then I saw a well-used and dented, tan Toyota pickup pull into the parking lot. Out hopped an older gentleman with a ruddy complexion along with reddish, grey hair poking out from under an olive green, Indiana Jones-style felt hat. His bulbous belly was encased in a red dirt tee-shirt with Moab emblazoned across the front. His khaki pants and high-top hiking boots showed plenty of wear, but his step was lively and his outgoing nature shown from across the gravel parking lot. He waved and spoke to everyone who looked his way and seemed to be full of fun and life. From the corner of my eye, I saw the uptight lady shift her weight and look in my direction. Turning to her, I raised my eyebrows asking the unasked question. She looked to the man advancing up the steps, sighed deeply, and acknowledged with a nod.

The jolly fellow entered through our restaurant doors smiling brightly, his light blue eyes twinkling with mirth. "Right this way sir," I said. "Your sister awaits." He laughed out loud and replied, "So formal? Has Thea already gotten under your skin?" Because she was sitting so close, I refrained from answering. I brought him to the table then turned to leave, almost getting caught up in their embrace, when he pulled his sister from her chair and gave her a huge bear hug. The action seemed to have embarrassed the woman mightily. She swatted at her brother to stop, reseated herself, and rearranged her dress. Poking at his tummy, she said, "Well Walter, you seem to have gained more weight since I saw you last" "Weigh your words, Thea," said Walter cheerfully. "I am the only friend and family you have left."

Working in the trading post and restaurant business allows Steve and me plenty of opportunity to study people and their interactions. We see how words can affect in a distinctly positive or negative manner. Many people would be better off if they would install a filter between their minds and mouths. The world would be a better place for it. Foresight and a tight lip are the key. We are all aware that words can reverberate for decades. They can do tremendous good, cause wonderful after-effects like joy, strength, and courage---or wound, hurt, and do everlasting damage.    

Thea and Walter stayed and visited for quite a while, probably two hours. As time went on, Walter’s positive attitude and kind words began to affect a change in his sister. She seemed to visibly relax, began to smile, and laugh. She often reached out and touched her brother affectionately on the hand or shoulder. It seemed that whatever Walter was saying and doing was having a positive effect. I was impressed. My distinct impression was that words and actions can be used to build someone up or beat them down. By the time their meal and visit were done, the siblings were getting along famously, Thea was healed. When they stood up from the table to leave, she gave her brother her own big bear hug and wished me a great day just before they went out the doors and down the front steps.

I once heard (and took to heart) a statement that goes: "A closed mouth gathers no foot." Hopefully, my missive does not sound like a sermon, just an observation on a life lesson that impressed me. With help from the interaction I witnessed between Thea and Walter, it is my greatest hope that from now on, I will more carefully "weigh my words," even maintain a positive attitude so that any words that cross my lips will be an improvement over silence.